May You Never Steal, Lie, or Cheat

The idea of cheating in a relationship may vary from person to person, but when we hear the term “cheating”, we immediately think of a sexual encounter with someone outside of a monogamous relationship. However, for many people, cheating in a relationship goes much deeper than just sex. It can begin or remain with a simple emotional connection.

Although this is not a subject that I like to talk about, many years ago I was unfaithful in my relationship. I could give you a million and one reasons why I did it, but not a single one could justify the hurt that I caused. Not only was it devastating to my partner, but it directly impacted my friendships and everyone that I was close to. I’ll be the first to admit that I was a douchebag and was completely ashamed of what I had done and the heartache I caused.

After some time, and self-reflection I was able to move past it, but in the back of my mind, I would recount the hurt that I caused to someone I had supposedly loved. As time went on, the thoughts of my unfaithful actions carried over into new relationships. I was always concerned that karma would catch up to me and I would feel the painful wrath of a cheater.

It wasn’t long before karma did catch up with me as I dealt with the lies, deception, loneliness, and heartache that a cheater brings to the relationship. Although it hurt beyond belief, I made it through and the relationship eventually ended. I made a vow to myself that I would never put myself in such a vulnerable position, nor would I ever cheat on someone again.

What Counts as Cheating?

Like I said previously, the idea of cheating varies from person to person, but there are some very specific actions that would be considered cheating. Typically cheating begins when there is a level of unhappiness in the relationship. There may be some emotional or physical needs that are not being met. However, cheating can also be psychological. Maybe the cheater has some unresolved trauma from their childhood, or maybe it goes deeper with narcissistic or sociopathic disorders? Nonetheless, whenever someone has to look outside of their relationship to satisfy emotional or physical needs, this is considered cheating.

Examples of Cheating

• (obviously) Sexual Interaction
  • Touching, kissing, heavy petting, sex, or any type of inappropriate physical contact with someone other than your partner.
  • Secret Meetings
    • Meeting someone out and you need to lie or try to hide it from your partner is considered cheating.
  • Texting or Sexting an Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend
    • Exchanging messages with an ex is considered cheating, regardless if you initiate it or not. Unless you are trying to make arrangements on getting your stuff back and your current partner knows about it, there is no reason there should be any communication with the ex.
      • Outside of Facebook Messenger, apps like Snapchat and WhatsApp are two of the most popular apps that cheaters use to try to hide their affairs.
  • Creating an Account on Tinder or Another Online Dating Service
    • If you are on the hunt for a date and you’re in a monogamous relationship, then you are cheating. Even if you haven’t made contact with anyone, the intention was there.

Cheating is Bad, M’kay?

Any way you look at it, cheating is bad. There is no good excuse for it nor is there an excuse for hurting that person that you are or were in love with. If you’re relationship sucks, then end it. If your needs aren’t being fulfilled then talk about it with your partner, get counseling, or get out of the relationship. Period.

However, some people with kids may feel like they need to need to stay in the relationship for the kids to have mom and dad together or for financial security, thus justifying their reason to keep the relationship (and the affair) going. Don’t do that to your kids! And if you need money, get a fucking job or two.

Learn From My Mistake

Don’t be a selfish douchebag (this goes for women too). Yeah, it feels pretty good to rub your genitals all over a hot piece of ass, but is it worth destroying your partner’s heart? Take the higher ground, grow the fuck up, and have some class and integrity. When karma catches up with you (and it always does), it will be a million times worse than the heart that you broke.

If it’s too hard for you to be faithful, then there is no reason for you to ever be in a relationship and you don’t deserve the love that comes with it.

Wrapping Up

One of my favorite movie quotes is from the movie Leap Year (2010) at the scene from the wedding where the new bride gives a toast to her husband (I know, it’s also an old Irish toast too):

May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you.

Movie – Leap Year (2010)

This is the kind of love that I always wanted and it should be a love that we all strive to achieve. “…if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you.” Love can be tough sometimes, but there is nothing tougher than working through the heartache that cheaters bring.