When it comes to dating, I am by no means an expert at it; however, my journey has offered me some great life experiences. I’ve had countless long and short term relationships including getting married and divorced. I know where I went wrong and I know what I did right.
A Journey Through Teenage Years
My first date didn’t happen until I was 16 years old. Her name was Kori and she just happened to be my first of everything. Looking back, 16 is a really young age to try to comprehend the true meaning of a relationship. At that age, the hormones are raging and guys can only think of one thing.
Teenage guys typically don’t think about marriage, working for a living, or starting a family. So why does a guy want a relationship with someone that he likes?
There are a few answers to what he may want:
- Having a deeper connection with a person that is not family, which may hold a stronger bond than his best friend.
- He wants to hold the status of the boyfriend and the security of having a girlfriend.
- Having the opportunity for sex that is more readily available and safer with a girl that he knows and trusts.
Although these answers are not definitive, they do establish a basis of what guys want. At least at a young age. Most teenage relationships don’t last longer than a few years, but in rare cases, they can last a lifetime.
The Journey of my Roaring 20s
When I entered my 20s my relationships didn’t last long. I was just looking to have some fun, so those “fun” relationships would last from 6 to 8 months before they were over. During and after each relationship I was learning about what I really wanted from a long-term relationship. I knew that I wanted something that would eventually lead to marriage.
When I was 25 I was in a long-term relationship that resulted in marriage and the birth of my oldest son. However, that relationship had some problems. After about a year and a half of marriage, it was over. I finished out my 20s by remaining single but going on several dates. Including a rekindling of sorts with my first girlfriend Kori.
Where do I go from here?
At this time, I was the dad of an 11-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. I really wasn’t sure what I wanted. While I had already started a family, most of my friends were in their master’s programs in college or just starting their careers. Although I was career-minded, I really missed having the security of a girlfriend. I know that I can’t speak for all guys and there are too many variables involved to determine what most guys really want at this age.
The Thirty-Something Journey
The thirty-something years have historically been a time of relationship and family building. I found a girlfriend in my early 30s and the relationship lasted for about 7 years, but there were no real talks of ever getting married or starting a family. We were engaged at one point, but because of incompatibilities and some mistakes on my part, that relationship came to an end.
Lordy, Lordy, Look Who’s 40
After a rough and tumultuous relationship for the first couple of years of my 40s, I decided to start dating again, but then shortly after I went back to my crazy ex. Please check out the post on my crazy ex. As a result of my going back to the ex-girlfriend, I found the person that I am supposed to be with.
Shortly after my relationship ended, I started dating and quickly got engaged to my new girlfriend and I made a life decision to move to Virginia to be with her.
Found My Soulmate
My fiancée and I have been engaged for just over two years and we plan to marry in 2022. Since being with her, I have finally experienced a joy that I’ve never known, but always wanted. My fiancée is my best friend and I can’t imagine how I made it through all of this time without her. I had finally found my soulmate.
We started things quickly and a little backward, as we now have a two-year-old son and plan to buy a home next summer. However, there is no place that I would rather be. I found my happiness when I wasn’t looking.
My goal is to take everything I’ve learned from my past relationships and apply all of the good to this one. I’m no expert when it comes to relationships, but I’ve been through enough of them to know right from wrong. This doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes, but I will strive to be a better man every day.